Is happiness a choice?
It’s important to distinguish between happiness and contentment.
Contentment is a choice. When settled down to be content, contentment can encapsulate happiness and so much more like satisfaction and a sense of fulfilment.
Contentment is so much more nuanced than happiness. While happiness is independent of influence but is rather a state of mind, contentment is a fundamentally more fulfilling wise as it builds up one’s self esteem.
Thus, contentment is finding joy within oneself and valuing oneself by seeing oneself as worthy. The state of contentment cannot be disrupted by external stimuli, like a wellspring of water that keeps pushing out water, the dirty water gets washed downstream and eventually diluted to the point where it becomes clean again.
Contentment needs to come from a place of great emotional security. Without a foundation in emotional strength, contentment would not be able to withstand the shocks to the human psyche such as setbacks to one’s self esteem and professional setbacks.
So how do we seek contentment?
Contentment is built up over time and is not a fleeting emotion. It is the foundation on which self esteem and confidence is built up upon.
For practical operational steps to build a strong foundation, first, we set realistic goals. Start with daily goals before proceeding to weekly and monthly goals which would be realistic.
Goals such as journalling the positives in your day and your actions to bring about positive actions are great refreshers to bring about a smile of pride on your face when you reflect on them later.
Weekly goals that could be operationalised could be preparing your meals in advance so you have healthy and ready to eat food throughout the week or going for a jog three times a week for some cardiovascular exercise.
Monthly goals that could be practically implemented would be to join a team sport which would not only produce endorphins but also social interaction and team bonding.
Wake up with a smile on your face: I know this is difficult to achieve but it has happened to me before. Smiling at everyone is being the change that everyone ought to be.
Start by doing three kind things a day: hold open a lift door, let an elderly passenger on the bus have a seat, share your umbrella with a stranger at the crosswalk etc.
Embody positive thinking: always think of actions as positive or benign, and not malicious or evil. Humans are inherently good natured. Of course, not be naive.
If we let unhappiness be our choice, we stand to lose out on all the precious happy moments we might potentially have experienced. There is simply no downside or catch to living a happy and contented life.
A smile or a frown on your face could be the catalyst to whether a stranger strikes up a conversation with you and which might lead to something more. A frown closes doors while a smile opens hearts. Which would you rather do?
The Asian Opinion 